Seriously?  This is nuts:

http://miamiherald.typepad.com/between_the_covers/2009/12/miami-heralds-best-books-of-2009.html

If you click that, you’ll see that HOW TO LEAVE HIALEAH was named a Best Book of 2009 by the Miami Herald.  That’s freaking crazy.  If I wasn’t so freaking drained from work this past weekend (though our Christmas program was awesome: www.onevoice-la.org), i would go out and celebrate.  Maybe next weekend?  Probably not.

I am a failure

At blogging.

There are no words to describe my utter failure at trying to keep this updated.  No, I mean it: there are LITERALLY NO WORDS here.  Since MAY.

Since last logging in to HF, I started working full time here.  I think it’s a good excuse for falling off the blog map, right?

I know I promised that I would do a better job at hanging out online.  Can I maybe make it a New Year’s Resolution?

(I mean really, though, no one’s even reading this, right? Please say no.)

Call for Submission

The Scholastic book has been handed in, so now it’s time to dedicate myself to writing a new story for this year’s Bread Loaf workshop. I’m very lucky to be returning as Head Waiter for 2009; this time around I’ll know to take a real coat so that I can sleep in it. Or maybe I’ll get really lucky and the heat in the residence hall will actually make it to my room.

If you’re reading this (yeah right, ha ha), send me ideas for a new story. I’m afraid I’m fresh out. My story for last year’s conference happened that way. Observe:

Me, on phone with my dad: Oh man, Dad, I’m totally out of ideas for a new story.

Dad: Uh huh.

Me: I mean, I really got nothing.

Dad: Okay.

(long pause)

Me: Any suggestions?

(another long pause)

Dad: I once found a dead body in a canal.

Me: !??!??

Dad: Does that help?

There was more to it than that, but not much. He didn’t really want to talk about it, so I took over from there as far as the story goes. Which is pretty much what I do anyway, no matter what the “truth” is.

So, yeah, send me something you don’t want to talk about. I promise I’ll get it all wrong.

I’m convinced

The proofs for my debut story collection arrived today via FedEx. I don’t think I actually believed this book was really happening until I saw the title page with my name on it. People: it’s totally real! It’s gotten far too elaborate to be a prank. This is definitely not a hoax. It really does look like my book’s actually going to exist in the world. I am humbled. I feel so blessed. And I better get to reviewing these proofs before they’re due back to the publisher!

In other news: the book I’m writing for Scholastic is coming along, so I’m rewarding myself by going to an improv show tonight at the invite of a new old friend. And yes, “new old friend” is very much accurate. Maybe it’ll get me and the husband writing funny stuff together again. If so, it’ll end up here, fo’ sheezy.

In other news

Yo! Long time no nothing!

Here’s why: just moved to LA; story collection getting published WAY soon (“How to Leave Hialeah” in stores October 2009!!!); working on deadline for Scholastic (hi kids!); working on album to accompany forthcoming book (Pitbull, you looking to collaborate on some literary 305 trax? I’m guessing no?); working on a novel; maintaining jcapocrucet.com; forgot I had this blog.

I will do more; I will do better. Until that happens, check out this handsome genius and his music musings. Hasta luego!

Exclamation points are in order.

BARACK OBAMA IS GOING TO BE OUR PRESIDENT!

I’M MOVING TO LOS ANGELES!

HOORAY FOR THE FUTURE!  HOORAY AND HUZZAH!

Yerba Mala

The Headline: Dispute over lawn turns deadly.

One possible scenario:

Neighbor One, noticing Neighbor Two’s lawn guy is not cutting the grass short enough.
N1: Hey, you need to fire that guy! He doesn’t mow your lawn short enough!

N2: Oh, you think I should fire him? Maybe I should fire you! Neighbor Two pulls out gun, shoots Neighbor One in the face.

???

That’s one possibility, anyway…

The Revolution Revolution

Reading through the Miami Herald this morning, I ran across an article about some Cuban students who raised some great questions to Ricardo Alarcón, Cuban Parliament Leader. In cross-checking the facts against a BBC article, it’s safe to say that the control of information is really the only thing keeping the current regime in power there. For instance, students said they understood not being able to access the internet freely (according to the BBC article, the Cuban government blames this on the US Embargo), but that why should that prohibit them from seeing sites not connected to the US, or sites that are internationally used. Specifically, they mentioned Yahoo. Ricardo Alarcón’s answer: “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I’ll look into it.”

Another valid question from a Cuban student, this one smart enough to evoke the name el Che: Why can’t I travel to Bolivia to see the place where our great leader was struck down? Answer, according to Mr. Ricardo Alarcón: Travel is not a human right–no country defines it as such. He said, If all 6 billion people in the world traveled as they pleased, do you realize the chaos and mayhem that would cause? Only the rich–who have grow that way by immoral means–can afford such luxury. When asked why Cubans can’t stay in Cuban hotels, Ricardo Alarcón’s answer was: If you think it’s bad *now,* you should have been around before Castro cleaned this place up. His point: you wouldn’t have been able to get into that hotel in 1958, either (back then, because you were poor; now, because it is forbidden). And Alarcón didn’t even have an answer as to why Cubans are paid in a currency with 25 times less buying power than the currency in which items are sold. He just left that one alone.

If these young students are brave enough to ask these questions to this official, in public and on camera, then they are smart enough to know his answers are those of an old man grabbing at straws. Let’s just hope these kids don’t end up missing, or worse, with comfy political appointments.

Funny thing: the @ symbol on one young man’s shirt — no mention of it in the BBC report (though you can clearly see it in the video), yet the Miami Herald had a few sentences dedicated to this “silent, visual protest.”